Episode 2: Define every Relationship.
Hello Guys, welcome to Straight talk for men.
Written by: KC Umeh.
So I met this young lady, she was very naive and among the class of those who think that marriage is a kind of settlement.
You know how you know them?
When you come around them, their body language oozes I’m available, the books they buy are mainly titles like: how to know the right partner etc and they are always found where prayers are made for single ladies who want to get married this year. She was worried because to her, she was getting older and not in any serious relationship. She asked me a very sincere question that was troubling her and this was a shock to me.
“What do you say of a brother who tells three sisters to keep praying, that it might be one of them He’ll choose?”
You should have guessed my answer. I screamed to her, “That is wickedness and of course foolishness”.
Before then I never knew this kind of thing existed, people trying to get the hopes of vulnerable ladies up. So, what happens after the prayers when you choose one? The remaining two will now go into the market and then wait for another vision-less man?
Let’s go to the very beginning, to the first man Adam. God made him and other creatures, and then God brought every creature to him and then he called each the name it bears till this day. To one, he called dog, man’s best friend; to another, cow, a grown man’s milk provider; to another hen, for producing egg etc. It was only one he called, bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, only one.
Oh man, please define your relationship…
There is a very popular thing we guys do today, you will tell a lady you want to date her and then let’s see if it will end in marriage. Seriously? Isn’t that a definition of ‘we’ not knowing what we want? The same way you tell one, you might easily tell another and then another, because along the line, you may start seeing the things you don’t like in the first and wish not to put all your eggs in one basket.
I’ve had girls ask me what I think of that statement, you may not want to hear my answer.
Before you approach a girl for a relationship, make sure you are interested in her totally.
I know not all relationships and courtships will end in marriage, but when you are not sure what you want from her, it is safe, very safe you shouldn’t even go close. (I know this negates the love at first sight and following your heart things, I am not going to talk about them here at all).
See the words, “be sure you want it” and when you tell her, please give closure to her and let others know you are not damn interested in them. Do not tell her and keep giving others the green light and please don’t try to spiritualize it like the guy in our story, it is devilish and can kill someone.
Courtship isn’t a gamble.
In case you don’t know, ladies are good architects; they can really build castles in the air, strong ones, and little gestures can make them start laying bricks and before you know it, the sky scraper is standing.
Please, as much as it lies in your power; do not give them the tools to build when you are not willing to go all the way.
I have a weakness, I used to be “too caring” to ladies and that has put me in trouble a lot of times. So what I do now is this, when I get nice to a lady and then she starts giving me the body language of first lady and I know this is clearly not what I want, I just give her some space or if I have a relationship, I start telling her about my relationship and boring her so much with the stories that she will want to avoid me.
When she expects you to call her everyday and is wondering why you don’t keep in touch as usual, and you keep apologizing, calling her sweet names, watch it, something may be brewing.
When you call her everyday, send her goodnight texts and your chat is the first she sees in the morning telling her how you thought through the night about her, what the hell you are expecting her to do? Please let the sleeping dogs lie,they are wonderful architects.
Yes, do not keep someone waiting because you have the power to do so. Maybe the same measure you use on the ladies today may be used on your own seeds by other men because what goes around really really comes around.
“I write to you young men because you are strong and the word of God lives in you and you have overcome the evil one”.
God knows we are strong, and he expects us to use our strength well to do the right thing. I am not here to force my belief down your throat but there is one message I bear this morning and that is:
PLEASE, DEFINE EVERY RELATIONSHIP. NOT EVERY BEAUTIFUL WOMAN THAT COMES CLOSE TO YOU IS FOR A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP OR MEANT TO BE A DUMPING GROUND FOR YOUR LUST.
There is much more to life than marriage and sex and the seeds you sow today can be passed down through you to your offspring. People always say that “karma is a bitch”, that is because when it comes; it comes in a geometric proportion.
When you have three ladies you like and you are thinking of keeping all three at arm’s length so that you make the best choice of the three, it might be an indication that you are not yet clear on what you want, don’t let the ladies be victim of your indecision, pray, seek counsel and be certain before you make the move. I say it again, define every relationship.
See you next week; of course, I will be reading the comments below to see what you think of this and I will appreciate you tell me.
My Name is KC Umeh, friends call me ProfKay, I am passionate about Greatness; living significantly and leaving a legacy.
I also believe that everyone was made to live a purpose and it’s my calling to help people reach theirs.
Might i add i am obsessed about education, I love it when education transcends schooling and is used to bring about solutions, hook me up, let’s chat, let’s grow.
Credits: Straight Talk for Men Episode 2: Define Every Relationship was first Published on Kosoluchukwu Umeh’s Face book page on July 14, 2017
Connect with him on Facebook @ KC Umeh
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If you missed the previous Episode, follow the link below: